Call it the pregnancy paradox: Nine months of planning for your baby’s arrival somehow seems to be both infinite and so-not-enough time to get ready. As prepared as we set ourselves up to be – diapers seemingly ordered by the truckload; the freezer packed full of make-ahead meals; your dog-eared copy of What To Expect is read and resting patiently on the nightstand – it’s somehow never enough! The impact of this life transition to parenthood (or to a larger family) still presents experiences outside of plans and expectations.
How then can you prepare for the unprepared? By setting yourself up for emotional equilibrium.
Taking care of your mental health before baby arrives, carves out a safe, emotional space you can return to. Cultivating this supportive mental nook means that even amid the chaos of sleep deprivation and inexplicable crying fits (whether your baby’s or yours), you have an emotional place to go, to catch your breath, and return to ready to handle whatever curveball awaits. Here are five things that expectant parents can do to help maintain their personal, positive state of mental health.
1. Get educated about possible postpartum mood disorders
Not everyone experiences unhealthy amounts of distress after giving birth, but it isn’t uncommon to feel intense feelings of depression or anxiety. Learning what the signs are gives you a head start on finding help and getting back to a healthy emotional place.
Here are some perinatal mental health conditions and situations to be aware of:
Postpartum depression : Estimated to affect approximately 12% of new moms in the postpartum stage; symptoms include lower mood, feelings of intense overwhelm, and possibly harmful thoughts.
“Baby blues ” : A mild, fairly common (estimated to affect 60-80% of new moms) condition. Symptoms include baby-related anxiety or depression, that go away without treatment within a few weeks.
Postpartum psychosis: This is much rarer than other kinds of perinatal mental health challenges, and may include delusions, hallucinations, or otherwise disturbed thought and behavior in the period after a baby’s birth.
You may also want to let your partner or close friends and family members know about these symptoms, so they can help with the monitoring process.
2. Join a new mom’s group
Even if you think you don’t need it – or, honestly, cringe at the thought of sharing details about your pregnancy with strangers – finding a community of people going through similar experiences after having a baby, may help you manage your expectations or find support through hard times.
Plus, in support groups you’ll often find practical tips and recommendations about topics ranging from pediatricians and breastfeeding, to which nannies are available in your neighborhood.
3. Prioritize your sleep
Something everyone talks about is the amount of sleep that new parents get – which is, to say, they get very little of it.
Sleeping before your little one arrives gives your body the rest it needs before go-time. Given sleep’s monumental impact on mental health, beginning the experience of parenthood with a rested mind may help you down the road.
Of course, there will be nights when you can’t get to sleep (for many, third-trimester insomnia is a real thing). Being patient and calm with yourself helps deter agitation – as does knowing a few breathing tricks for relaxation. Try the “4-7-8 exercise,” which can help with symptoms of insomnia:
- Exhale all breath completely through your mouth.
- Close your mouth, and inhale through your nose for four counts.
- Hold your breath for seven counts.
- Exhale all breath through your mouth for eight counts, making a “whoosh” sound.
4. Stay active with suitable exercises
So maybe your marathon or pilates days are on hold as your body preps for labor, but there are mild exercises you can do in the weeks leading up to childbirth.
Working with your medical doctor to find ways to stretch and get your heart pumping also sets your body up to be as healthy as possible before you give birth.
5. Have some therapists’ names and numbers lined up
Engaging in talk therapy is always a great way to find support that’s unique to your life situation, and after you have a baby it’s no different. Before your little one comes along, spend some time researching therapists in your area who you think might be a good fit. Even having their contact information can be empowering, should you decide to talk to someone down the line.
When searching for a therapist, look for someone who has specific expertise with new parents. And prioritize personal fit; therapy is often the most effective when you feel understood, respected, and secure sharing all your thoughts and feelings.
Many women put subconscious pressure on themselves to be happy and excited about their pregnancy and growing family. And while for most this is a joyful time, the weight of such expectations can eclipse the mental health challenges that arise for expecting or new parents. By taking care of your mental health before baby arrives, you make space for emotional resilience – which, in turn, can set the stage for good parenting.
Guest post written by Molli Carlson, Zencare team.
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